by Kristi Williams Fontenot
July of last year, my husband’s job transferred us from south Louisiana to south Texas. Within three months of getting the news we house hunted in Texas, put our house on the market, bought a house, sold our house, moved our children into an apartment, and finally a big ole moving truck boxed us up and moved us seven hours away. In a matter of what seemed like a second, our very busy family went from a household of six to a household of three. My three oldest children are all in college and stayed behind, so only our youngest son made the move with my husband and I to Texas. I went from working in our restaurant full time to being a full-time stay at home wife and mother in a town I knew absolutely no one. Some may say that sounds wonderful, but for me, the winds of change came through and, if I am being honest, they knocked me completely off my feet.
I tried to go into this move with an open mind. Or at least I thought I did. But every aspect of my life changed so quickly it left my heart feeling empty. I wanted purpose and meaning, yet being in a city where I knew no one and had nothing to do just left me feeling alone. I spent many days crying to my husband about how my heart felt, but there was nothing I could do to change my situation, so to a degree I had to figure out how I was going to allow my situation to change me. Was I going to let it get the best of me and continue the pity party I was having? Or was I going to grow and allow God to show me what He wanted me to learn in this new season of life?
Change can look so different from one season to the next. Sometimes change brings about great joy, and at other times, change can be hard or even devastating. The Lord has taught me so much in this season of my life. For me, in this season, I know God allowed this change in my life to kind of wake me up. For myself, it can be so easy to slip into the mundane cycle of life. Especially when I am in a busy season of life. And let’s be honest, when raising kids, the busy season last much longer than any other season we walk through! But taking the time to slow down allowed me to hear God more clearly. When our lives are so busy with the hustle and bustle of life, it is easy to miss what God is trying to teach us.
When my pity party was finally over and I quieted my heart enough to hear from God, His gentle words to me were, “I’m in the boat.” I knew exactly what He was referring to when He spoke these words to me. In Mark 4, Jesus is resting in the boat with His disciples when a storm comes out of nowhere. The disciples were afraid they woke Jesus up, asking Him if He cared if they drown. Scripture says, “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’” Then the wind died down, and it was completely calm.” Mark 4:39. In a moment, the disciples panicked. They forgot who was in the boat with them. I cannot help but think how crazy that is. Jesus in the flesh was in the boat with them! He would never allow the waves to overtake them. Yet the disciples for a moment forgot. They allowed worry to set in. The waves and the winds frightened them. They saw their circumstances as too much. But isn’t that exactly how life feels to us sometimes? As a believer, I know God would never allow the waves to overtake me, yet daily I felt as if they were. When I finally submitted to the season of life God had placed me in, that’s when God so gently whispers “I’m here, I always have been, and I’m never leaving you.”
If God has showed one thing in my lifetime, it is that every one of your life experiences connects the dots to fulfilling the purpose God has created you for. It’s part of your story! It may be hard to see the reason if you are in the winds of change, or the middle of a storm, but God promises to use every part of your life. While I felt my season had no purpose or meaning, God reminded me that nothing is wasted with God’s plans. When I allowed myself to trust God in this season, knowing that this season is indeed for His purpose, that alone is when the storm that I was feeling around me began to “be still.” Is it still hard being away from my children? Absolutely! Do I still have moments where I feel lonely? Yes! But I also know that trusting God through the process will always bring me closer to fulfilling the plan that He has for me. Now I wake each day with a heart submissive to the season I am in. Trusting the winds of change because I know those winds are bringing me closer to seeing God’s beautiful story fulfilled in my life.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28